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+852 2575 7707 drmelanie@mindmatters.hk

Solution-Oriented Therapy*

Shifting the focus, improving self-esteem

 

Solution Oriented Therapy

 

One approach (among many) to both therapy and coaching I tend to employ, engages the client (or clients, in the case of a couple or family), in searching for exceptions to the presenting complaints and out of this investigation, constructing solutions, rather than honing in on the problem itself.  This means expanding the clients framework to include descriptions of when things are already happening satisfactorily in the area of distress that the clients want to continue to have happen.

Within this framework, I search for something worthwhile that is happening, explore these worthwhile  interactions, be they attitude shifts, behaviours etc. and encourage the client to continue doing more of these in lieu of their problematic reactions.

Promoting awareness of exceptions to these problematic behaviours or interactions and encouraging consideration of the differences between the situations when the problem occurs and the situations in which exceptions to the problem occurs, helps to shift the client’s attention towards their current abilities, towards potential solutions and towards amplifying more of what works.  A greater sense of self-appreciation of one’s capabilities for change and growth naturally follows from such a line of thinking.

Solution-talk can be present-focused:  “What are you doing now that is effective in dealing with or over-coming ‘x’? (Anxiety, fears, relationship conflicts, compulsions, etc.).  “How do you do that? When?”  “What do you think this tells me about you?”  “This ability to do something different, is this new or have you always had it?”

Solution-talk can also be future-focused:  How will you know when this problem is solved?  What will you be doing differently?  “Are  you doing any of that now?”  “How will other people you are close to know things are different without your having to tell them?”.  Such questions shift the client’s attention toward generating and sustaining differences that make a difference in resolving their presenting complaints.

Solution-talk can elicit resources from the past that can be incorporated in the present to improve a client’s self-image or functioning:  “At what time in your life would you have been most confident that you could have accomplished this?”  “What experience was most important in supporting that belief in yourself?”  “What does that time in your life tell you about yourself and your potential now?”

Solution-talk leads to a picture of life after successful (and often brief) therapy which can guide both therapist and client toward positive change patterns in the client’s life.

*Developed by Steve de Shazer, Brief Family Therapy Centre, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA

 

 

 

Couples Conflict & Poaching

Conflict-Poaching

Couples often get stuck in repetitive patterns of interaction, doing the same thing and expecting different results.

There is frequently an attachment to each person’s point of view, ‘being right’ (referred to as a ‘losing strategy’), informed by a need to ‘win’ with an aversion to being ‘wrong’ which often solidifys such a stance.

A recent Royal Geographical Society (RGS) lecture on The Maasai Fight Against Poaching in Africa got me thinking about the need for couples in conflict to think outside the bounds of their conflicts to resolve their habitual struggles.

Maasai Daniel Ole Sambu and his Big Life Foundation is fighting against the epidemic of wildlife poaching with a variety of creative approaches in the Amboselli-Tsavo-Kilimanjaro ecosystem of Kenya and Tanzania.

His foundation’s unusual approaches reminded me of how important it is for couples to think counter-intuitively as Maasai Sambu has been doing, especially in dealing with repetitive conflicts.

For example:

In Maasai land, the only wild animal tribes kill is the lion. This is a coming of age ritual.

In an effort to change this long-standing tradition, the Foundation has created the Maasai Olympics where their young men ‘Hunt for Medals, not Lions’. And it’s working!

Another example:

Retribution killing based on tribal beliefs that when a wild animal kills a child or adult, or does destructive harm to their land, that animal must be killed in return.

To counter this belief, the Foundation’s conservation program compensates the tribesman for NOT killing. And it’s working!

A final example:

Poachers that are caught and punished with imprisonment are invited to become rangers once they have completed their sentences.

Maasai Sambu noted that these people make the best, most committed rangers!

Dr Melanie Bryan
www.mindmatters.hk

Couples Institute Developmental Model